Etiquette for Sosyal Scammers

Etiquette for Sosyal Scammers

 

Rule # 1: You’re a sosyal scammer, not a social climber.

 

Dapat sosyal na may yabang. Show me your sports car, ika nga.  If you bump into one, wag mahiyang magpapicture. Dapat parang ikaw ang owner, tapos tag mo  sa Facebook pag ginawa mong profile pic with hashtag #mynewtoy 

 

 

Rule # 2: A sosyal scammer must always be on posture.

 

Laging ipakita ang pagiging classy. Sa industriyang ito,  “to see is to believe” ang labanan. Kailangan careful ka sa bawat hakbang, umaraw man o umulan. Dapat ala runway celebrity ang dating…Magsuot ng makapal na make-up at foundation. Bawal ang pangit! OOTD

 

 

 

Wag kalimutang isuot ang 6-inches na high-heels!

 

 

Rule # 3: Take all the opportunity to show them how sophisticated you are. 

 

Even if it has nothing to do with the conversation, don’t fail to mention the branded thing that you are actually wearing…

 

Friend: Sorry I’m late, traffic sa Edsa. Anong oras na ba?

You: According to my Rolex, it’s 3:30 P.M. na

 

 

 

 

 

Rule # 4: Don’t get caught walking on the street!

 

Wag maglakad. Baka isipin nila can’t afford ka… First impressions last. Mangutang ka na lang pamasahe pang-Uber o pang Grab. A sosyal scammer should always be consistent. 

 

 

 

 

Rule # 5: Don’t let them know the real you.

 

Kahit wala ka nang pambili ng bigas, head’s high ka pa din. Wag maging asal poor, wag mag bring home ng food sa party. Wag magmukhang gutom. You chose to be a sosyal scammer. Panindigan.

 

 

 

 

 

Rule # 6: You’re allergic to being poor.

 

Cosmopolitan Magazine GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

 

Allergic talaga ako sa di original and second-hand

I even haven’t been to Divisoria for a while now

I always have meeting kasi with my celebrity clients

in Estancia Mall or Greenbelt.

 

 

Always remember, you only talk about being rich and famous,

The best thing to convince them is to show how sosyal you are…

 

 

Rule # 7: A sosyal scammer tries harder.

 

Now lets get to the business!  Make sure you focus on a hopeful yet madaling maluko.

 

  • They want the shortcut to riches.
  • They don’t want to hear about hard work.
  • They want to bypass all that hard work, and get straight to the riches!
  • So let’s fill them up with hope, then drain their wallets of cash 😉

 

This will be our target audience.

 

 

Rule # 8: Give respect to the brand!

 

 

 Give credit where credit is due…

Kailangan bukang-bibig mo ang pangalan

ng company. Pwede mo din gawing

palayaw ni bunso, o di kaya

pangalan ng aso mo.

Yan magpapayaman sayo!

 

 

 

Rule # 9 : Wag mong aminin na ikaw ay scammer.

 

No, I’m not! I’m your F-A-T-H-E-R…(insert Darth Vader’s voice)

 

 

Rule # 10: Don’t forget the golden rule… NAME DROP.

 

Look for connections… 

 

 

 

Friend: Oy si Anne Curtis

You: Actually endorser namin yan…

          nakasabayan ko yan dati sa event namin sa Paris

at tsaka sa hotel na tinutuluyan ko sa Sydney,

kasama ko din that time si Kris Aquino.

 

 

 

Rule # 11: Now that you have their money…RUN!

          

I mean, magtagumpay ka man, 100% ng mga na-scam mo ma-rerealized nila  na naluko mo sila.

 

Horror GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

Dahil na-scam mo sila, these people will look for YOU and will never forget.  But who cares right?  After all, we’re only after the quick money. Sana’y makatulong ang mga tips na’to sayo. Happy Scamming!

 

 

 

PS: ingat-ingat lang, baka sa kulungan din ang patutunguhan…

 



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